Story of My Life

Story of My Life is a song in Shrek the Musical. It is performed by the Fairytale creatures and takes place at Shrek's swamp.

CHARACTERS
PINOCCHIO, GUARD, THE THREE BEARS, FAIRY GODMOTHER, SHOEMAKER'S ELF, PETER PAN, UGLY DUCKLING, SUGAR PLUM FAIRY, THE THREE PIGS, WICKED WITCH, MAD HATTER, BIG BAD WOLF, HUMPTY DUMPTY, TWEEDLE DUM, WHITE RABBIT, FAIRYTALE CREATURES

Shrek Jr. Version PINOCCHIO

(spoken) Dumped on a swamp!

Man, I tell ya, sometimes being a Fairytale creature sucks pine sap.



LIFE IS DISAPPOINTING

WOE IS WHAT I KNOW

OUTED BY MY NOSE -- THAT'S JUST HOW IT GOES

FOR POOR PINOCCHIO.



STORY OF MY LIFE.

ALWAYS DOOMED TO FAIL.

CHEATED BY A FOX.

SWALLOWED BY A WHALE.

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE, OH YEAH.

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

GUARD: Three Bears, take your spot over there by that sign

(THEY try to find it)

GUARD: that's too close.

(again)

GUARD: Too far.

(again)

GUARD: Ahh, just right.

FAIRY GODMOTHER

STRIFE IS NEVER ENDING.

GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Sugar Plum Fairy!

<p style="text-align:center;">PETER PAN

<p style="text-align:center;">BANISHED FROM THE TOWN

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Wicked Witch!

<p style="text-align:center;">UGLY DUCKLING

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY DRAGGED ME FROM THE POND.

<p style="text-align:center;">SUGAR PLUM FAIRY

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY BROKE MY MAGIC WAND.

<p style="text-align:center;">3 PIGS

<p style="text-align:center;">ZEY BLEW OUR CONDOS DOWN.

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Big Bad Wolf!

<p style="text-align:center;">WITCH

<p style="text-align:center;">LIFE IS BUT A WITCH-HUNT.

<p style="text-align:center;">MAMA BEAR

<p style="text-align:center;">MAMA'S IN DA MUD.

<p style="text-align:center;">MAMA'S IN DISTRESS.

<p style="text-align:center;">MAD HATTER

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY RIDICULED MY HAT.

<p style="text-align:center;">3 PIGS

<p style="text-align:center;">ZEY SAID ZAT VEE VERE FAT.

<p style="text-align:center;">WOLF

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY LABELLED ME A FASHION MESS

<p style="text-align:center;">BECAUSE I WORE A GRANNY DRESS

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Humpty Dumpty!

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">BOOTED FROM THE BALL.

<p style="text-align:center;">THE PARTY'S OF THE HOOK

<p style="text-align:center;">HUMPTY DUMPTY

<p style="text-align:center;">I FLEW OFF TO A WALL.

FAIRYTALE CREATURES

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">And remember if we find you back in the

<p style="text-align:right;">kingdom, you will be executed.

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">I ALWAYS DREAMED I'D GET A HAPPY ENDING

<p style="text-align:center;">WITCH

<p style="text-align:center;">AND THIS RIGHT HERE, NOT HOW IT GOES.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">I ALWAYS DREAMED I'D GET AN EVER AFTER.

<p style="text-align:center;">IF THIS IS IT, IT BLOWS (X3)

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALWAYS DOUBLE-CROSSED.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALWAYS IN THE WOODS.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALWAYS GETTING LOST.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALWAYS ON THE ROPES.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALWAYS UP A CREEK.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALWAYS KICKED AROUND

<p style="text-align:center;">AND TREATED LIKE A FREAK.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE, YES SIR.

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE, OY VEY.

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">

BROADWAY VERSION
(spoken) Dumped on a swamp!

Man, I tell ya, sometimes being a Fairytale creature sucks pine sap.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">LIFE IS DISAPPOINTING

<p style="text-align:center;">WOE IS WHAT I KNOW

<p style="text-align:center;">OUTED BY MY NOSE -- THAT'S JUST HOW IT GOES

<p style="text-align:center;">FOR POOR PINOCCHIO.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALWAYS DOOMED TO FAIL.

<p style="text-align:center;">CHEATED BY A FOX.

<p style="text-align:center;">SWALLOWED BY A WHALE.

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE, OH YEAH.

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

GUARD: Three Bears, take your spot over there by Pinocchio.

(THEY try to find it)

GUARD: that's too close.

(again)

GUARD: Too far.

(again)

GUARD: Ahh, just right.

<p style="text-align:center;">SHOEMAKER'S ELF

<p style="text-align:center;">STRIFE IS NEVER ENDING.

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Peter Pan!

<p style="text-align:center;">PETER PAN

<p style="text-align:center;">BANISHED FROM THE TOWN

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Ugly Duckling!

<p style="text-align:center;">UGLY DUCKLING

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY DRAGGED ME FROM THE POND.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRY GODMOTHER

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY BROKE MY MAGIC WAND.

<p style="text-align:center;">3 PIGS

<p style="text-align:center;">ZEY BLEW OUR CONDOS DOWN.

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Wicked Witch!

<p style="text-align:center;">WITCH

<p style="text-align:center;">LIFE IS BUT A WITCH-HUNT.

<p style="text-align:center;">MAMA BEAR

<p style="text-align:center;">MAMA'S IN DA MUD.

<p style="text-align:center;">MAMA'S IN DISTRESS.

<p style="text-align:center;">MAD HATTER

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY RIDICULED MY HAT.

<p style="text-align:center;">3 PIGS

<p style="text-align:center;">ZEY SAID ZAT VEE VERE FAT.

<p style="text-align:center;">WOLF

<p style="text-align:center;">THEY TORE MY COTTON GRANNY DRESS,

<p style="text-align:center;">AND CALLED ME A HOT 'N TRANNY MESS.

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">Sugar Plum Fairy!

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">BOOTED FROM THE BALL.

<p style="text-align:center;">THE PARTY'S OF THE HOOK

<p style="text-align:center;">TWEEDLE DUM

<p style="text-align:center;">BUT I'M TOO OFF THE WALL.

FAIRYTALE CREATURES

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">You're late, rabbit.

WHITE RABBIT

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

FAIRY TALE CREATURES

THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:right;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:right;">And remember if we find you back in the

<p style="text-align:right;">kingdom, you will be executed.

PINOCCHIO

This is worse than the time I caught

Dutch Elm disease in Tijuana!

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">I ALWAYS DREAMED I'D GET AN EVER AFTER.

<p style="text-align:center;">WITCH

<p style="text-align:center;">AND THIS RIGHT HERE, NOT HOW IT GOES.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">I ALWAYS DREAMED I'D GET AN EVER AFTER.

<p style="text-align:center;">IF THIS IS IT, IT BLOWS (X3)

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALL THE WASTED PRAYERS.

<p style="text-align:center;">ALL THE BROKEN DREAMS.

<p style="text-align:center;">3 BEARS

<p style="text-align:center;">ALL THE BROKEN CHAIRS.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">ALL THE DAMAGE DONE.

<p style="text-align:center;">3 BEARS

<p style="text-align:center;">ALL THE BUSTED BEDS.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">ALL THE SHATTERED BOWLS.

<p style="text-align:center;">3 BEARS

<p style="text-align:center;">THE PORRIDGE ON OUR HEADS.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">FAIRYTALE CREATURES

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE, YES SIR.

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE, OY VEY.

<p style="text-align:center;">THAT'S THE STORY OF MY LIFE.

<p style="text-align:center;">

PINOCCHIO

(spoken) Crap!

<p style="text-align:right;">